Today is the 17th of December. It’s been two months since we lost our sweet baby James. I’ve been having a hard time lately with not being pregnant during the holidays like I was expecting to be, and I have to keep telling myself that God’s plan is bigger than me. Something positive was supposed to come from James’ death. That has to be true. It’s something I struggle with, but I know it’s true. It has never been more apparent to me than it was this week.
This little blog. The community of women that I’ve gotten to know over the past couple of months since starting this crazy journey has been everything. Women that genuinely support one another and work to build each other up, no matter how small you are when you started– that’s pretty incredible and so refreshing to me. None of the catty B.S./mean girl crap that people are so used to seeing.
And my friends. Every single person that has reached out to me at all whether it’s been through text, email, FB, Instagram, a letter, a card, a note, a gift, or good old fashioned person to person interaction (if that’s even a thing anymore….totally joking)– all of this has helped lift me up more than I could ever hope to reciprocate. I am literally weeping as I write this because I just feel that much love from y’all. These are happy tears, mind you. I seriously can’t thank you enough. You. Whoever is reading this post. You are special, and you have made an impact on my life, even if you don’t think you did. You are appreciated.
I received a package in the mail a couple of days ago that held 3 little nutcracker ornaments and the sweetest card. An ornament for each of my 3 boys– seriously, my momma heart melted, and I am still cleaning it up off the floor. That’s just one example of how amazing people have been to us. There have been so many kind gestures from so many good-hearted people, and I am just blown away. There is still so much good in the world, y’all. As much as it breaks my heart that I don’t get to hold my sweet angel baby, I know that his short life wasn’t for nothing. He showed me that there is still so much good. In a world full of social media that just seems so negative and hateful and in-your-face, it feels good to be reminded that there is more good than bad. There is more love than hate. Baby James did that for me. God is still God, and God is still good.