This is the day before my husband’s last day of clinical rotations for his medical school career. Next week we will find out where he will be completing his residency; and then we will either move away, or we will stay in our hometown– for three years. And that will more than likely be followed by two or three more years somewhere else– if he decides to specialize and complete a fellowship. Either way, our fate is literally in the hands of someone else right now, and it’s pretty scary.
Becoming a stay-at-home-mom to two babies while my husband has been in medical school has been really difficult for me. Not only have I not been making any money, but most of my college friends are finishing up their graduate degrees and starting to earn real paychecks. And a lot of my friends that do have kids are all older than me– with husbands who are more established with their careers and whatnot.
With money struggles come marital struggles. Matt and I fight all the time about money– he’s the saver, and I’m the spender (totally guilty). Some of our worst fights have been about money. The millennial struggle is so real… we grew up the way we grew up, and now that we’re on our own, we’re accustomed to a certain way of living. It’s easy to forget that our parents have nice things because they’ve worked their butts off for it. For years.
For years, it felt like we were going to be leaning on our parents forever. I know how fortunate we are to have families that are willing and able to help us through this season of life, but it’s still a really humbling feeling. I felt like medical school was never going to end. I felt like we were never going to get to the finish line where we would have a real income (other than loans).
It’s been a rocky road, but we can finally see the light. It’s taken every bit of effort put forth by Matt, me, and our families and friends to get us to this point.
Every fight we had. Every night we stayed up late talking about where we want to live. Every day that he had to stay late. Every time we had to postpone a trip because he had to study or it just didn’t work out. Every time we had to rely on our families for support. Every time we thought we were never going to get there. Every time I thought I was going to lose faith.
It was all worth it.
I think what I’m getting at here is that things that are worth having don’t come easy. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to get to where you want to be, but when you do get there, the view is pretty great. And now I’m sitting here, the week before we find out where my husband is going to match, and I’ve got to say, damn, does it feel good.