Y’all. I am notorious for leaving people hanging on the other side of a text message. But it’s probably not because I don’t love you or want to talk to you.
So you texted me, and I didn’t respond. I know what you’re thinking– “She is always on her phone, so I know she saw it. Because she’s always on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook or texting. So why didn’t she answer me? I know she got my message.”
This is true. I probably did get your message. And I might have even started responding to it (in my head). But there are a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t be offended when I don’t respond to you right away (or in a timely manner).
- My youngest child just knocked over the cat’s water bowl, so I’m wiping it up with a paper towel.
- My husband didn’t tell me that we were down to the last two paper towels , so I’m writing paper towels down on the grocery list.
- The cat’s water bowl is now empty, so I am refilling it, and while I’m at it, I’m going to feed him too.
- My oldest child sees that I’m feeding the cat, so naturally he decides he’s hungry too. I fix him a snack cup full of teddy grahams.
- Then my youngest, who is walking around in a wet outfit, decides to scream for a cookie. I decide not to fight that battle today, and I give him a dang cookie.
- Because his outfit is still wet from the water spill, I tell him it’s time to change clothes. This sends him running, so I chase him.
- Once I get him to quit flailing around on the changing table by bribing him with another cookie, I peel off his wet outfit and throw on another clean one.
- Might as well get a diaper change in while he’s already on the table.
- I wash my hands, and both of my boys come running. Because they want me to wash theirs too. We have foamy soap, so it’s pretty fun, and they love it.
- While I’m washing their hands, I notice that their fingernails are SO. DIRTY. I grab the nail clippers, and I get to work.
- Assuming that they were cooperative, I grab a Nature Valley bar because, hey, I haven’t had time to eat breakfast. Par for the course.
- Then I grab my grocery list, and I tell everyone to get their shoes.
- After some backtalk and indecision, we all decide what shoes we’re going to wear. So I help tie the laces.
- I grab two sippy cups from the fridge and a couple of snacks just in case. I open the door…
- And my oldest runs down the stairs toward the car. His brother chases him, but he trips and falls on his face.
- I grab my youngest, and I try to console him– while I’m yelling at my oldest to come back inside as I tend to his brother.
- We go back inside, and I carry my youngest to the bathroom. I clean off his scraped knee and bandage it up nicely. The boys are impressed.
- Let’s try this again. I carry my youngest to the car to put him in his carseat. That way he can’t run away. I buckle him in successfully.
- Then I get my oldest out of the neighbor’s backyard. He was throwing rocks at an ant pile. I take his shoes off to make sure there aren’t any ants in there.
- Once the shoes are back on, I buckle him in his seat.
- Now that the kids are both restrained in their carseats, I run back inside to pee because I realize I haven’t gone to the bathroom all morning.
- I lock up, and we leave the house. I’m driving now.
- We get to the store, and I get my phone out of my purse because I remember I have a text message that I haven’t responded to yet.
- I start typing a response, but my youngest starts screaming because the car is stopped, and he knows that means it’s time to get out, so he wants to get out.
- Not to be outdone by his little brother, my oldest also starts screaming. I toss my phone into my purse because now I’ve lost my train of thought. I unbuckle the kids, and we walk up to the grocery store. Because we need paper towels.