Blogging about life and living it to the fullest. Pretend princess/mermaid. Actual basic southern millennial trophy wife.

25 Reasons Why I Didn’t Respond to Your Text Message

Y’all. I am notorious for leaving people hanging on the other side of a text message. But it’s probably not because I don’t love you or want to talk to you.

So you texted me, and I didn’t respond. I know what you’re thinking– “She is always on her phone, so I know she saw it. Because she’s always on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook or texting. So why didn’t she answer me? I know she got my message.”

This is true. I probably did get your message. And I might have even started responding to it (in my head). But there are a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t be offended when I don’t respond to you right away (or in a timely manner).

  1. My youngest child just knocked over the cat’s water bowl, so I’m wiping it up with a paper towel.
  2. My husband didn’t tell me that we were down to the last two paper towels , so I’m writing paper towels down on the grocery list.
  3. The cat’s water bowl is now empty, so I am refilling it, and while I’m at it, I’m going to feed him too.
  4. My oldest child sees that I’m feeding the cat, so naturally he decides he’s hungry too. I fix him a snack cup full of teddy grahams.
  5. Then my youngest, who is walking around in a wet outfit, decides to scream for a cookie. I decide not to fight that battle today, and I give him a dang cookie.
  6. Because his outfit is still wet from the water spill, I tell him it’s time to change clothes. This sends him running, so I chase him.
  7. Once I get him to quit flailing around on the changing table by bribing him with another cookie, I peel off his wet outfit and throw on another clean one.
  8. Might as well get a diaper change in while he’s already on the table.
  9. I wash my hands, and both of my boys come running. Because they want me to wash theirs too. We have foamy soap, so it’s pretty fun, and they love it.
  10. While I’m washing their hands, I notice that their fingernails are SO. DIRTY. I grab the nail clippers, and I get to work.
  11. Assuming that they were cooperative, I grab a Nature Valley bar because, hey, I haven’t had time to eat breakfast. Par for the course.
  12. Then I grab my grocery list, and I tell everyone to get their shoes.
  13. After some backtalk and indecision, we all decide what shoes we’re going to wear. So I help tie the laces.
  14. I grab two sippy cups from the fridge and a couple of snacks just in case. I open the door…
  15. And my oldest runs down the stairs toward the car. His brother chases him, but he trips and falls on his face.
  16. I grab my youngest, and I try to console him– while I’m yelling at my oldest to come back inside as I tend to his brother.
  17. We go back inside, and I carry my youngest to the bathroom. I clean off his scraped knee and bandage it up nicely. The boys are impressed.
  18. Let’s try this again. I carry my youngest to the car to put him in his carseat. That way he can’t run away. I buckle him in successfully.
  19. Then I get my oldest out of the neighbor’s backyard. He was throwing rocks at an ant pile. I take his shoes off to make sure there aren’t any ants in there.
  20. Once the shoes are back on, I buckle him in his seat.
  21. Now that the kids are both restrained in their carseats, I run back inside to pee because I realize I haven’t gone to the bathroom all morning.
  22. I lock up, and we leave the house. I’m driving now.
  23. We get to the store, and I get my phone out of my purse because I remember I have a text message that I haven’t responded to yet.
  24. I start typing a response, but my youngest starts screaming because the car is stopped, and he knows that means it’s time to get out, so he wants to get out.
  25. Not to be outdone by his little brother, my oldest also starts screaming. I toss my phone into my purse because now I’ve lost my train of thought. I unbuckle the kids, and we walk up to the grocery store. Because we need paper towels.


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