I really want to get back into blogging on a more regular basis because it’s fun for me, but lately life has just been so dang busy that I feel like I’ve just been treading water. Between Matt being on his hardest rotation (12ish hour shifts in the ICU), Reese’s surgery, being in the hospital for chemo, then appointments to get ready for our upcoming stay at MUSC, and making sure I spend some quality time with Cole and Reese together when we are out of the hospital– it’s just been a really tough month.
Matt’s been getting on my last nerve because he’s been working so hard that when he comes home, he doesn’t have as much energy or patience as he usually does. Which makes me frustrated, and thus bickering ensues. I feel overworked. He feels overworked. But seriously, he needs to take the dang trash out. Just suck it up and do it. Normally he has chores that he does around the house, but every now and then when a hard rotation comes along, he has a tendency to get slack around here. Which doesn’t work for me. I run a tight ship around here, and I fully expect him to comply because HAPPY WIFE = HAPPY LIFE. He knows it. Sometimes he just needs to be reminded. Kind of like another child. Men just don’t think the way women do; it’s just a fact. Sometimes they need to be babied, and they need a to-do list. Meaning they need to be told exactly what to do. Because, as much as we wish they could, they can’t read our minds. Sigh.
We’re all good now, though. We’ve had a little time to catch up with each other, and we even got to go to church as a family this Sunday– the first time that’s happened since before Reese was diagnosed. And I even got an apology and a “thank you, dear, you know I appreciate you” monologue, so that was fun.
And of course at the height of everything, life just keeps moving faster and faster. We’re building a house, so we’ve been nailing down all the details associated with that. We’re expecting a baby. A baby girl. A rainbow baby. I am 21 weeks this week, which is surreal because we lost baby James at 20 weeks around this time last year. So that’s kind of been nerve-wracking as well. We just had our anatomy scan last week, and everything looks perfect with our little girl. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to breathe any easier anytime soon. I won’t be able to take that full deep breath and let it out until I am holding that living, crying, wiggling pink baby girl with ten fingers and ten toes and those Mazzola ears in my arms.
Here’s a little bump date for y’all because I think these are fun:
We’re also getting ready for what will probably be the most difficult part of Reese’s treatment– the intensive chemo and stem cell transplants that will take place at MUSC. I am going to be there with Reese the entire time, but life has to go on. Matt still has to work, someone will have to be taking care of Cole, and everyone will have to continue living their lives. That’s just the way it is, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I have a wonderful support system in place, and I have wonderful friends in Charleston that I can’t wait to see, don’t get me wrong. But being away from my husband, my oldest son, and my home and living inside of a hospital for weeks on end is something that scares me. How will I handle this? To be determined. How often will I get to see my other son? How sick will Reese get before he gets better? Will this treatment work? How will he tolerate it? We’ve been lucky so far, but I’ve never experienced this part. Will I have access to Krispy Kreme, or do I need to plan ahead and start hoarding mini donuts now? Am I going to have enough food? What if I forget something? You see, I’m just a hot mess about all of this.
On a more fun note, blogging has really taken off for me lately. I’ve been meeting people around town that recognize my boys and me from Instagram, or from this blog, and it’s been so much fun. There’s not a thing I like more than hearing that my words benefited someone in some way, no matter how small. That’s why I write. I write this blog for people to read it– whether it provides entertainment, comfort, emotional support, affirmation, or whatever– I just want people to enjoy it. And I’ve got some fun posts coming for those of you that are interested in what blogging actually entails.
I know this was a totally random post, but I needed to put something out there, and this is all I’ve got! Please keep up the prayers for our sweet Reese– he’s been doing so well, and I just hope it continues this way. We’ve got big plans for him.