Today was a good day. The weather couldn't have been more perfect-- not a cloud in the sky. A perfect Saturday for football. While I envy those of my friends who've yet to have kids. thereby freeing their weekends up for tailgating and actually attending games, there isn't any other way I would have rather spent my Saturday morning than the way I spent it today. Today, hubs and I loaded up the boys and journeyed out to the river.
I have been in such a low place for the last couple of days, and social media just makes it worse-- yet like a car crash, I just can't look away. So I'm just going to keep doing this to myself, I guess. Sigh. Pregnancy announcements, gestational month countdowns, ultrasound pictures, pictures of growing bellies, pictures of toddlers wearing "I'm a big brother/sister" appliquéd shirts, pictures of new babies all filling up my feed and making it impossible to focus on anything other than the fact that I'm supposed to be pregnant right now. I'm supposed to be the annoying poster on instagram who is oversharing pictures of my adorable baby bump with a whiny caption like "beached whale status, gah I'm pregnant AF lol". I wish I was still pregnant. I wish to God I was still carrying sweet baby James. The point of this post was not to whine, so I'll move on.
We decided to participate in Halloween this year in an attempt to get our minds off of everything, and because last year was an absolute bust with a newborn and a terrible two-year-old. Matt and I dressed up as Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis from Bravo's Southern Charm, while Reese got the honor of wearing the infamous shark costume, and Cole was our little doctor (still not a fan of dressing up). We were able to hit about 6 houses with the littles cooperating. I had a major fangirl moment when the real Kathryn Dennis liked my Instagram post (I tagged her in my pics because why the hell not). Anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy reality TV, so know this is a big deal for me. My senior superlative in college was "Most likely to get cast in Real Housewives of Columbia" or something of that nature. Basically, I'm famous now. Or not. But hey, a girl can dream.
I am starting this blog because one of the things that got me through the most difficult time of my life was reading other people's stories. If my story can help just one person dealing with infant loss, then that would be more than enough for me. My future posts will be nowhere as long as this, I promise!