Hey y’all! Sorry I’ve been so radio silent this week. I’ve been redesigning the Dixie Belle Mommy and getting my life organized so that–God willing– I can grow this little blog and reach as many mommies and women as I can.
At first, I started this as an outlet for myself after losing my sweet baby James. For those of you that don’t know, I miscarried our third baby boy at 20 weeks due to an incompetent cervix this past October. Needless to say, I was a complete wreck for a little while. This blog was born out of that experience because I had to believe that something (anything) good and meaningful could come from losing my child. There had to be a reason. I just didn’t know what it was at the time. You see, I have always been a firm believer that God will not give you more than you can handle.
So as the fog began to lift, and I reacquainted myself with the world outside of my bed, I realized that I really enjoy writing. And I realized I also really love talking about myself– well, not so much myself as much as my experiences. Because even though I’m only 26 years old, I have had a lifetime filled with experiences. And I’ve also got a million and one stories to show for it.
At 26, some of my bigger experiences include (in bullet form for easier reading, because this could get wordy as heck, and I’m not trying to write a novel here):
- falling in love at 15 years old with a boy who was a year older than me that would be my first (and only) true love
- having my soul mate leave for college 600 miles away from me
- went to college and joined a sorority because everybody else was doing it (and I wanted the tee-shirts)
- enduring a quarter-life crisis during college as I discovered I did not in fact want to be a doctor or pharmacist– which essentially nullified my Biological Sciences degree
- got engaged, graduated from college, and moved back in with my parents
- worked full-time as an assistant manager in a jewelry/accessories store while my mom and I planned my wedding (I also had elective jaw surgery and got braces for the second time during this year… another story for another day!)
- got hitched, adopted two cats, and moved away from home so my new husband could start medical school… where we didn’t know anyone… and immediately got pregnant (way earlier than was planned, but turned out to be the greatest blessing)
- got a job (at 14 weeks preggers) working full-time in another city selling health insurance right at the inception of the Affordable Care Act (google it)… made a bunch of money and bought some nice things (new car, new Louis Vuitton, new computer… and way too many fancy baby things
- learned more than I ever wanted to about cyber-bullying and stalking (a crazy story that’s not appropriate for this blog– and not my story to share)
- had a baby boy via early and unexpected C-section (breech baby) then attempted to go back to work full-time 8 weeks later because I was married to a medical student, and we were trying not to have to take out loans for school (#fail)
- realized I was completely overwhelmed and totally isolated as a recent college graduate/newlywed/new working mother… which led to a severe case of postpartum depression, me leaving my job, and starting couples’ counseling (at 24 and 25 years old)… then we got pregnant again, and had to put my family dog to sleep because he bit our neighbor
- moved back to our hometown for years 3 and 4 of medical school– the husband started rotations, and I stayed home barefoot and pregnant with the baby while making major lifestyle changes to get my depression under control… while looking for a doctor who would be willing to let me try for a VBAC (being that my babies would only be 16 months apart… not recommended)
- traded my little SUV in for a bigger mommy SUV… and traded my single stroller in for a double before having a successful VBAC with baby boy #2 during the historic South Carolina flood
- had my little sister move across the country to become a news anchor, put my other childhood dog to sleep because she was 17, and dealt with more family drama and bullying/intimidation (also not appropriate for this blog and not my story to share)
- reconnected with some old friends and made some new friends to expand my mommy network and support system; this would prove to be a life-saver in the near future
- announced we were expecting our third baby boy and began applying to residency programs all over the southeast
- lost our baby boy at 20 weeks due to an incompetent cervix
I know I’m probably leaving something out, but these are the major life events that have led me to where I am today. No wonder so many millennials are being treated for mental health problems! I feel like I’ve experienced enough major life changes over the last few years to fill a lifetime of someone twice my age. But these experiences are the things that make me who I am.
I promise I am not complaining. I love my life. I love my story. I really do enjoy living fast and furious– I think that’s just a millennial thing. We want what we want, we’re probably a bit entitled, and we make things happen.
This New Year has got me thinking about the year ahead and what I want this little blog to become. I feel like I’ve finally discovered my purpose. I think that I want this blog to be a platform. I want this blog to be a place where I can write things that will reach all kinds of women– mommies or not. I hope that by sharing my life experiences and being real, I can help give somebody out there something to relate to. Bonus points if it’s someone going through a difficult change or life event.
So if you’re reading this and just so happen to be going through something that royally sucks, please know that you’re not alone. There is someone out there that gets it, I promise. Hang in there.